If I had nickel for every time I’ve been told, “you have no empathy for other people”, I’d have an alarming number of nickels.
Alarming because I’m always shocked that people see me that way but also because it isn’t true.
Or maybe it is?
(more…)I don’t write fiction…
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Live To Fight Another Day
Sometimes it’s best to just keep driving.
Earlier today
I was on my way to see Jared. His office is 34 miles from my house but it’s worth the drive. I had a legitimate need for his services and, of course, an ulterior motive.
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Plausible Deniability
“If you are not a practiced liar don’t try to start. It will backfire. You are dealing with pros. You would not believe the time and energy that real liars pour into honing their craft.” -Someone on Substack
Not to put too fine a point on it, but that’s exactly right.
I don’t think of myself as a liar. I’m an engineer. I almost never tell lies. Lies are dangerous and they’re a lot of work. Lies are unsophisticated at best and they take up a huge amount of working memory. Lies require backstories and supporting evidence. You never know when a lie will come unraveled due to factors beyond your control.
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Oversharing
Don’t talk about Fight Club.
OMG, the van is his! I don’t know where it came from, if he bought it or he already had it. But the timing in which it appears matters.
Two weeks ago Alphonse went to a national gathering of motorcycles out in the middle of the desert with his wife and his brother and his brother’s wife.
He was gone for a week and I found myself unexpectedly distraught during that time. A couple months ago he went on a cruise with his family and I felt the same way.
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A Personal Revelation
There’s Nothing Wrong With Me
One day about five years ago, I woke up with an epiphany that changed everything.
At 45 years old, I had spent a lifetime trying to answer the question: “Why can’t I be like everyone else?”
My friends all went to college, got married, popped out some rug rats, worked a reliable job. They followed the instruction manual.
But not me.
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The Power of Water
Persuasion
Water didn’t carve the Grand Canyon in a day. In fact, the desert floor initially said “no,” despite its desperate thirst.
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Cool Heads Prevail
Alphonse is a doctor. I like doctors.
The technical challenges of carrying on a relationship with Alphonse are numerous. Like, too many to count. They’re not my challenges, they’re his, and one of them is that his place of business is not a suitable location for shenanigans.
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Raising My Price
It’s not always about money
2025 was an incredibly challenging year for me.
Right out the gate my best friend, Monique, dies of MS. At exactly the same time, things with Jared spin dangerously out of control, forcing me to step away from him temporarily. But we weren’t done, fate had other ideas. I got really sick and then rolled an ankle walking down stairs and became grievously injured. The wizard might be broken and crazy but he’s still a wizard. Aside from that, I promised I would not abandon him. I went back to Jared.
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No Rest For The Wicked 